Our rating system is structured within four primary categories: Atmosphere, Food, Lunch Bargain, and Service. But we're not your average, snooty critics; we have a few quirks that make us unique, along with our open minds, and hungry bellies.
There was a crowd of roughly 8 people when we arrived, doubled by the time we left. There was ample room for a lunch crowd, nestled within artificial bamboo shoots, vistas of beachside grottos, a MCLOVIN license plate. There might've been some luau tunes playing, but the volume was low. A decent sized bar stands below an empty, unreserved party room, which happens to be the entire 2nd story. SCORE 6/10
Bathroom
We believe bathrooms are crucial enough to be a subcategory of Atmosphere, deserving of its own score. According to Harvey, the cleanest of the trio, this bathroom was small, but very clean, with shiny tile and a pleasant smell.
SCORE 8/10
Hawaiian-esque! That's how we'll describe it (see list of each dish). It was freshly made-to-order, generously portioned, and tasted swell! Harvey's Shoyu Chicken Fried Rice was huge, with a large side of macaroni salad (deliciously garlic). Qi's Loco Moco could've been the mutant child of Chinese take-out and Golden Corral©, but again it was large and tasty. Plus, a hamburger patty on rice, topped with a fried egg? Nuff said! Mike's Manupua Meal, a colossal pork-stuffed dumpling, was soft, sweet, and warm. Like Mom's cooking...if she's Portuguese, Japanese, Polynesian, and of course Hawaiian.
SCORE 7 or 8/10
Qi's Side As you'll see on our ABOUT page, Qi's a man who knows what he wants. Often, that manifests in a side item that he sneaks in at the last moment. Today, that was Spam Musubi, and it was as deliciously Spammy as the picture entails. Qi even saved one of the four as a late-afternoon snack, a rarity! |
As aforementioned, Hawaiian Brian's has no specific lunch menu or specials, though their prices are reasonable. In fact, their dinner menu and lunch menu are combined--keep that in mind, all you evening diners, that's a good dinner bargain. With that said, bargains and specials are what we look for, and Hawaiian Brian's is missing a good opportunity to bring in more lunchers. SCORE 6/10
SERVICE
For this category, we consider speed of service, efficiency, and the time it takes to receive your meal. *Aside: all three of us have worked in the service/hospitality industry in some fashion, and can attest to its rigors. We fully support the staff who feeds us!
- Our server was wonderful, efficient, and friendly. Despite their network going haywire, disrupting the registers and preventing our bills being printed, she carried on gallantly. Qi even received his Spam Musubi for free—and free Spam is amazing! SCORE 8/10
- The only snafu was the time it took to receive our meals. It was roughly 27 minutes, made up for by the fact that our plates were well-portioned, and obviously made-to-order. We can forgive the delay, so not a total blunder. Therefore...SCORE 5/10
Want to know what else makes our ratings unparalleled? Well, it's how we pose our overall score:
Hawaiian Brian's did well. Well enough to earn them the rank of:
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