Over the last week or so, you may have noticed a slight respite in Faylunchin's weekly postings. We're quite sure you have been sitting at your desks, or on your couches, or at the public library computers, faces glued to blank screens, eagerly awaiting our next update. A slight tear drop drizzles down one cheek at each passing empty day.
For that, an Englishman, a Chinese Man, and an Indian apologize. It's Michael's (the Indian's) fault. He thought he'd have access to the internet last week, while he cruised up the Pacific Northwest. He hoped to post daily pictures of fattening cuisine and lecherous libations. By now, you know that was a pipe dream, lost on the sea like so many sailors' caps or cocktail umbrellas. Therefore, it is Michael who should be the target of your fury. Michael, who you should curse in your sleepless nights. Michael, who will now regale you of his misadventures overseas in his mini-blog entitled...
For that, an Englishman, a Chinese Man, and an Indian apologize. It's Michael's (the Indian's) fault. He thought he'd have access to the internet last week, while he cruised up the Pacific Northwest. He hoped to post daily pictures of fattening cuisine and lecherous libations. By now, you know that was a pipe dream, lost on the sea like so many sailors' caps or cocktail umbrellas. Therefore, it is Michael who should be the target of your fury. Michael, who you should curse in your sleepless nights. Michael, who will now regale you of his misadventures overseas in his mini-blog entitled...
I'm sorry, public. It was truly my hope, my pleasure actually, to upload photos of all the magnificent fare that I consumed on the cruise, as well as all the dizzying drinks that made my nights a bit black. I was hoping to cram it down everyone's throats and feel pretty awesome about myself. So, sue me!!
Stereotypically, an Indian should know how Karma works. Well I do...but I forgot, and it came back to bite me in the rear.
Let me begin by explaining where this all went wrong, aside from the fact that I could never get WiFi (actually, I could but it was really expensive). Five of us arrived in Seattle on Friday, September 14th, wary, jet lagged, yet excited for the debauchery yet to come. There was my Dad (Sudha), my Uncle (Mani), my brother (Nathan), my cousin (Suhas), and myself. We lounged in the hotel, talked to fellow soon-to-be-cruisers, drank some beer, and bided our time. But it was for naught.
Stereotypically, an Indian should know how Karma works. Well I do...but I forgot, and it came back to bite me in the rear.
Let me begin by explaining where this all went wrong, aside from the fact that I could never get WiFi (actually, I could but it was really expensive). Five of us arrived in Seattle on Friday, September 14th, wary, jet lagged, yet excited for the debauchery yet to come. There was my Dad (Sudha), my Uncle (Mani), my brother (Nathan), my cousin (Suhas), and myself. We lounged in the hotel, talked to fellow soon-to-be-cruisers, drank some beer, and bided our time. But it was for naught.
When my brother arrived, his luggage decided to remain in Boston, perhaps afraid of all the mischief we Indians would get into during the trip. As a human, I've never understood a suitcase's fears, but if I was an open container sitting dangerously close to drunk cruisers, I too would fear for being vomited on or urinated in. It was not until the next day, mere hours before the ship's embarkation, that Nathan's suitcase worked up the nerve to arrive. That was just about the time that Suhas was barred. Barred, as in he wasn't allowed on the ship. No, it had nothing to do with misbehavior, no one was drunk or rude to cruise associates in the slightest. Like all maladies in life, from our birth woes to death throes, it was in the paperwork. Suhas, a twenty-three year old engineering stud at the University of Chicago, is still a citizen of India, though he has a student VISA for the U.S. By some Canadian logic we southern North Americans can't comprehend, Suhas was deemed ineligible for a Canadian travel VISA. This wouldn't have mattered normally. We were going on an Alaskan cruise, after all. Yet, there was one stop in British Columbia, and that little snag kept our cousin from enjoying the trip. |
Leaving a disheartened, yet resilient Suhas behind, four Indians took their place among Hawaiian-clad tourists, a crew from nearly every continent, and a great, blue stretch of water at our backs. "Our troubles are behind us," I thought as our ship, The Jewel, left Seattle bay. "Now, I can blog about this trip. Now, I can prove how awesome I am to every single fan of Faylunchin." Well, you know how that went. |
My intentions were crummy, I know. But can't you all see how I've suffered for my egotism? After our initial troubles, I spent 5 days lounging on a boat! PHOOEY!
5 days hot-tubbing. 5 days shuffle-boarding and watching Cirque Du Soleil. EWWW!
5 days eating Alaskan salmon, crab, and calamari. 5 days sipping Tequila Sunrises on my Dad's unlimited drink plan. CRUEL!!
5 days exploring Alaskan and Canadian landscapes, where mountains peek their heads through cloudy blankets and glaciers run like icy highways between rock and sea. DISGUSTING!!!
5 days to fully repent for my impropriety, my thoughts of grandeur. I'm sorry, fans! Those 5 days were agonizing! Not a minute went by where I didn't wish I was home in blistering heat and no ocean.
But just to prove how apologetic I am, I've included a few crude photos of my purgatorial experience. Please note the utter remorse written across my face, and the faces of my family. Truly, I'm sorry fans.
5 days hot-tubbing. 5 days shuffle-boarding and watching Cirque Du Soleil. EWWW!
5 days eating Alaskan salmon, crab, and calamari. 5 days sipping Tequila Sunrises on my Dad's unlimited drink plan. CRUEL!!
5 days exploring Alaskan and Canadian landscapes, where mountains peek their heads through cloudy blankets and glaciers run like icy highways between rock and sea. DISGUSTING!!!
5 days to fully repent for my impropriety, my thoughts of grandeur. I'm sorry, fans! Those 5 days were agonizing! Not a minute went by where I didn't wish I was home in blistering heat and no ocean.
But just to prove how apologetic I am, I've included a few crude photos of my purgatorial experience. Please note the utter remorse written across my face, and the faces of my family. Truly, I'm sorry fans.
By the way...
The cruise line was Norwegian. I highly recommend them. Unbelievable food, skilled bartenders, talented dancers and musicians, not to mention a ship full of very caring people. If you save up the time and money, it's worth the experience.
The cruise line was Norwegian. I highly recommend them. Unbelievable food, skilled bartenders, talented dancers and musicians, not to mention a ship full of very caring people. If you save up the time and money, it's worth the experience.
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