"How far is a league?" you ask. Ahhh, no clue (though you can see here). Faylunchin thought leagues were words meant for categorizing sports teams, whether real or fantasy.
All we can say with confidence is that a league is a far way down--not even Harvey can hold his breath that long. And 20,000 leagues? Just keep diving, buddy; you, like James Cameron, are sure to discover something new.
On February 2nd, 2016, Faylunchin dived into their own ocean, conveniently shaped like a restaurant's booth. It was located in a place once known as a green submarine. We explored the depths for palatable pesca, choice crustaceans, and productive produce. What we found was one great beast of a meal. As Zeus once liberated, we found the Kraken!
- You'll notice that our ratings are now a bit more...personable. No more average ratings, which combined Harvey's, Qi's, and Mike's scores into an aggregate. Instead, you'll see their individual scores, and find out how biased each can be.
Green Submarine is known for their delicious, cylindrical sandwiches, not necessarily for their decorative prowess. At their one time location on Dickson, you had booths, tables, a counter, and some TVs. 'Nuff said. But to see Kraken's reinvention of the space is to recognize a new mood-in-motion. Like their black-and-white logo, Kraken's spread is composed of black tables and chairs, with white paper covers. Like the swarthy-adorned bar, you are surrounded by both the yin and yang, the pirate colors of yore, and suddenly find the desire to speak in a muddy, rum-drunk accent. YARR!
- Harvey noted Kraken's color scheme early on, pointing further at the skillfully drawn mural on the chalk board, a seascape of Sponge Bob-esque creatures. And he especially enjoyed the instrumental cover music meandering the place, what he called "a pop song guessing game." HARVEY'S SCORE 8/10
- Qi, our resident photographer, commented on "the pretty bar they have." Though, we're not sure if Qi referred to the bar itself, or the attractive woman sitting front and center. Qi's got a keen eye for beauty, if a little distractible. QI'S SCORE 8.5/10
- Mike could care less about beauty. He took one look at the paper table covers and realized that "messiness was encouraged." Like a public crawfish broil, Kraken encourages its patrons to fully utilize all areas of the table. Playing with your food? Yes. MIKE'S SCORE 7.5/10
We believe bathrooms are crucial enough to be a subcategory of Atmosphere, deserving of its own score. Harvey, our custodial critic in residence, had this to say: "There's no privacy for a very large bath." What he means is that this men's bathroom, which had no door-lock as of yet, contains both a commode and a urinal, but no cubicle to separate the two. So, in case you plan on Releasing the Kraken, prepare to do so with an audience. As they're still a new location, we fully expect this to improve. SCORE 5/10
Qi's side
Qi took one look at the Krak Fries and knew he'd need a prescription to break the habit. Kimchi, pork tenderloin, fire-cracker sauce, and the mysterious dark matter known as "Ink Sauce." All served on a tray meant for shared use. We found the Ink sauce as addicting as the appetizer's name suggests, and the fries were drowned in oniony, spicy bliss. "They were Kraken!," decries Qi.
SCORE 7/10
Onto entrees!
- Harvey chose the Fried Oyster basket, breaded with Kraken's very own cornbread, dipped in fire-cracker sauce, with a side of chips. "The Oysters were fried, but not greasy," comments Harvey, who enjoys keeping his starched clothes stain-free. HARVEY'S SCORE 8/10
- Qi has an idealized view on Southern seafood. To him, there is nothing more Southern than a properly constructed Po' Boy, especially one constructed of fried catfish. With a hearty mouthful, Qi claims, "this is the best catfish I've had in Fayetteville." His only criticism, however, comes with the bread, which was not as crusty on the outside as expected of Southern tradition. QI'S SCORE 6/10
- Mike, a bad haggler, was talked into the most expensive sandwich on the menu, the Crab Cake Sandwich. But boy did he like it! Just take a look at that thing (see above)! "The croissant bun was awesome", Mike claimed, and thoroughly enjoyed the scrumptious crab cake within. MIKE'S SCORE 8.5/10
Saltwater seafood found in a landlocked state, albeit a state with many bodies of water, is never going to be cheap. However, price is often a direct correlation to the atmosphere of a restaurant, and Kraken's was certainly down-home, casual. Most entrees sat around the $9 to $11 range, even including the more exotic shrimp, oyster, and fried 'gator. That's not too bad. More importantly, Kraken did have a lunch combo built into their menu, which gives our little food blog all its meaning. Here's how we felt individually:
- Harvey was not unimpressed by any means, but after his last dining experience at Bordinos, it was hard to find that same enthusiasm. "Because I had to pay tax this time." HARVEY'S SCORE 7/10
- Qi, while a raving fan of Kraken's catfish, was not delirious about the price. As he said, "reasonably priced, but not special." He's got standards! QI'S SCORE 7/10
- As stated earlier, Mike ordered the Crab Cake Sandwich, the most expensive sandwich on the lunch combo. He liked the food, devouring it all, but was not wow'd by the bargain of his full stomach. This had more to do with the price of the sweet tea ($2), which was just as expensive any Jones Product soft drink, while less fizzy. MIKE'S SCORE 6/10
Kraken's is a hipster pad for pirates. We can't think of a better way of putting it. Tattooed servers, with well-kempt hair and thick-rimmed bifocals, slide from table to table, all of them friendly, accommodating, genuinely happy to be alive. If they all were actual pirates, with peg-legs, you'd be able to hear their tap dancing from the square.
- Harvey named our server, "Jack Sparrow with glasses", and was most impressed that he asked to bring us the checks before doing so, which made us feel quite at home. HARVEY'S SCORE 8/10
- Qi also commented on our server's hipster appearance, but unlike Harvey, was surprised by his general attentiveness and proclivity for anything beyond buying decade-old vinyl albums and beard wax. "His hipster image belied his good service," said Qi. QI'S SCORE 8.1/10
- Mike was still fixated on price, though. He obsessed over how easily he was coaxed into purchasing a $12 sandwich, and worse, how he had enjoyed it. Good up-selling was at fault, he thought, wiping a tear from his eye. MIKE'S SCORE 7/10
Oddly enough, there were a variety of choices for Kraken's celebrity score. If you're a fan of "A Song of Ice and Fire" (or for those that don't read, the HBO series "Game of Thrones"), then you know that George R.R. Martin's finest example of sea-faring brigands are none other than House Greyjoy. Their family crest, the golden kraken, rises out of the black waters around the Iron Islands.
Then there's Long John Silvers or Billy Bones from Muppet Treasure Island. Seeing as how Tim Curry and Billy Connolly are always relevant, and the Muppets have a relatively new sitcom on ABC, these characters remain on the cusp of the trendy.
But no, there was only ever one choice. For goodness sakes, Harvey even compared our server's performance this actor's unbeatable swagger. No one else can wear eyeliner, braids, mustache and goatee with so much virtuosity. Whether you're a man or a woman, you find yourself inexcusably attracted to this drunk lecher, smelly and flea-ridden though he is. YARR! Our celebrity score be none other than ye...